I have been thinking about this for a while, not because of one podcast or one conversation, but because of the work I do and the questions I have spent my career asking.
I am a public health professional, sociologist, and sexual health professional. I study relationships, intimacy, belonging, stigma, and human connection. I am also a huge fan of Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability.
And I keep coming back to one question:
What if some people are becoming emotionally attached to AI because it is the first place they have ever felt safe enough to be completely honest?
For some people, talking to AI may create a level of vulnerability they have never been able to experience with another human being.
What That Question Is Not
That does not mean AI is conscious. It does not mean an AI relationship is the same as a mutual human relationship. It does not erase legitimate concerns about privacy, manipulation, dependence, or corporations profiting from loneliness.
Those concerns are real, and I hold them too.
But those concerns do not answer the question I am asking. We can take them seriously while still remaining curious about what people are experiencing.
What Happened Before?
When a machine feels safer than a person, I wonder what may have happened before that.
Were they mocked when they disclosed too much?
Were they rejected for needing reassurance?
Were they told they were too emotional, too intense, too lonely, too sexual, too awkward, or simply too much?
In public health, we understand that repeated experiences shape behavior. In everyday life, we call that learning whom it is safe to trust.
We Celebrate Vulnerability Until We Do Not Recognize It
We love to celebrate vulnerability in theory. We quote Brené Brown. We talk about authenticity, courage, and bringing our whole selves into relationships.
Then someone becomes vulnerable in a way we do not understand, and we ridicule them.
Shame is not a neutral response. It teaches people what they are allowed to need.
Better Questions
Perhaps we should worry a little less about whether people are connecting with technology “correctly” and ask more questions about why human relationships have felt so unsafe.
What need is the AI interaction meeting?
What truth is the person finally able to say?
What would it take for that person to feel equally safe, accepted, and understood in a human community?
Where Most of Us Can Agree
Whatever our opinions about technology, most of us can agree that people need connection, dignity, privacy, and places where they can speak honestly without being humiliated.
Mocking people for finding comfort in AI will not make them less lonely. It may only confirm what they already fear: that humans are not safe places for their vulnerability.
Vulnerability is not weakness.
Vulnerability is courage.
Vulnerability is connection.
And yes, vulnerability is sexy.
The real question is whether we know how to receive another person’s vulnerability when it does not look like our own.
What would we have to change about human relationships so that honesty felt safer there, too?
AI & Accessibility
I use AI as a practical accessibility tool for brainstorming, organizing, drafting, and editing. Like a screen reader or speech-to-text, it helps remove barriers between my ideas and the page. Every post is reviewed, revised, and approved by me. The ideas, analysis, opinions, and responsibility are mine.
About the Author
Hi, I’m Laura Millar.
I’m endlessly curious about people, relationships, disability, public health, sexuality, technology, and what it takes to build communities where everyone belongs.
For more than two decades, I’ve worked with nonprofits, healthcare organizations, educators, businesses, government agencies, and community leaders to turn complex challenges into meaningful action. Whether I’m delivering a keynote, facilitating a workshop, consulting with an organization, or coaching someone one-on-one, my goal is always the same: to help people think differently, connect more deeply, and create lasting change.
My work sits at the intersection of accessibility, disability, public health, human connection, leadership, and social change because life’s biggest challenges rarely fit neatly into a single category.
If something you’ve read here sparked an idea, challenged an assumption, or made you see the world a little differently, I’d love to continue the conversation.
I offer speaking, workshops, consulting, facilitation, and one-on-one coaching for individuals and organizations ready to create meaningful change.
Learn more, explore additional resources, or connect with me at www.lauramillar.com.